Horrible revelations!!
Shocking information has been recieved from the long line of ultra-super secret agents lurking in the dank hellhole known as Luxembourg.
I recieved this electric mail from a guy who read the entire war on Luxembourg site a while back (writing it was hard enough, I can't imagine reading it all!). I finally saw that I could click on that link and get information. So I did and was horrified.
Take a moment. Think about this. What is happening here? Again... think. The answer is sick... and obvious. If you did not see it right away, do not slap yourself. It is diabolocal.
After taking my advice and thinking about it, I'm sure you can all reach the obvious conclusion: This man - a Luxembourgian government agent (Wink, wink!) intends to use the nuts pictured to forcefully choke this child to death!
They call this a "nut festival"? It's sick!! Kicking babies was not enough for them? They have to choke young children to death with nuts?! My mind was filled with horrifying images of children being held down and having their gullets stuffed to the breaking point by maniacally cackling, jolly, fat, criminally insane nut-men. While nuts are delicious and nutritious, society must draw the line somewhere! I was so shocked I almost choked on a battery (a Duracell).
Thank you, humble sender of this electric mail. You need not give me nuts. You have given me something far more valuable than nuts: the gift of knowledge.
Please, I implore you. Sign my petition. If you see someone (anywhere) trying to choke an infant with nuts, say something. And write the U.N. or something. They have stopped accepting my electric mails.
Joseph Papparelli
I recieved this electric mail from a guy who read the entire war on Luxembourg site a while back (writing it was hard enough, I can't imagine reading it all!). I finally saw that I could click on that link and get information. So I did and was horrified.
I looked at the site and three pictures jumped out at me. First, here are the pictures I am speaking of:I have to say that your site is pure genius. I have just moved to Luxembourg and would welcome any liberation attempt. I may even be able to provide you with some nuts, having recently attended the Vianden nut festival in the north of the country.
http://www.tourist-info-vianden.lu/manifestations/nssmoort2005/53387596e512ad101.html
Take a moment. Think about this. What is happening here? Again... think. The answer is sick... and obvious. If you did not see it right away, do not slap yourself. It is diabolocal.
After taking my advice and thinking about it, I'm sure you can all reach the obvious conclusion: This man - a Luxembourgian government agent (Wink, wink!) intends to use the nuts pictured to forcefully choke this child to death!
They call this a "nut festival"? It's sick!! Kicking babies was not enough for them? They have to choke young children to death with nuts?! My mind was filled with horrifying images of children being held down and having their gullets stuffed to the breaking point by maniacally cackling, jolly, fat, criminally insane nut-men. While nuts are delicious and nutritious, society must draw the line somewhere! I was so shocked I almost choked on a battery (a Duracell).
Thank you, humble sender of this electric mail. You need not give me nuts. You have given me something far more valuable than nuts: the gift of knowledge.
Please, I implore you. Sign my petition. If you see someone (anywhere) trying to choke an infant with nuts, say something. And write the U.N. or something. They have stopped accepting my electric mails.
Joseph Papparelli
posted by Papparelli at
1:12 AM
3 Comments:
This just gets worse and worse!
By
Anonymous, at 5:05 PM
Make sure to draw the Portuguese on your side. Trust me... They account for about half the population of Luxembourg, because the Louxembourgish people are too lazy to build streets, buildings and other stuff themselves!
By
Anonymous, at 2:01 PM
porcapputtana, non capisco un cazzo...ma รจ figo!
By
Anonymous, at 6:36 AM
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